Letting Go Is Never Easy
by itsnotametaphor
Summary: Our characters break your heart. Maybe a one shot, not sure yet.


**Do not own Pride and Prejudice.**

**This is a one shot...I guess. Chapter 8 or 9(chapter something?) for Do you Have the Time will be up within the week. This has been in the back of my mind for a very long time, I wanted to continue it, but then I thought ehh. **

Will left the other day, I told him to leave. I sink to the floor, my sobs leaving me breathless as they make my body shake and shiver. How could I have ended it this way? I left him broken, shattered, and hopeless. I let him go. I couldn't tie him down, couldn't bind him to someone who couldn't give him what he wanted so badly. I couldn't give him a family. I had a fault and I couldn't keep looking at his hope filled face and feeling that hole in my heart grow deeper, I couldn't let the hole consume. I couldn't hear the three sorrow filled words that defined our lives. "Maybe next time." Those three words that filled our minds whenever we saw a happy family, " A family, a true family, something I could never have.

**Before...**

"Negative." I whisper in the dark and cold room of our lives. "Maybe next time." He sighed and went to bed.

Fifteen tests, fifteen, how many more would I have to go through until that time comes? I needed to see a doctor. The dread filled hours of my day seemed longer and longer. My days were gray, sunshine failed to reach me.

I slipped into our bed, going to my side. We had started to grow apart, I noticed.

My phone rang, the ringtone calling me back from my thoughts. It was Will.

"Hey." I answered trying to hide my nervousness.

"Hey, where are you? I came home hours ago, are you okay?"

"Yes I am fine; I'll be home in a few, just with a friend." I hated lying to Will. I hung up, my eyes filling with the dreaded tears.

I had visited the doctor's office a few weeks ago; the letter came a few days after that. There, in that letter, said the words I was dreading not to find. I was not able to bear children. There were trials I could do, yes. Very costly experiments. I could try them all, I could waste both of our time, and I could make us unhappy.

I needed air; I walked out into the cold park. Walking was calming, I sat on a bench. My gaze fell upon a carving in the wood. My answer was there, in those fading words etched into the crumbling wood.

_"Letting go is never easy, I wish you the best." _

I had to give Will what he wanted. If I loved him I would give him what he wanted. A family, not with me, but with another. It would hurt, but what is life without pain?

Take a deep breath, Lizzy. I entered our apartment with a heavy heart. Divorce papers clenched in my trembling hands. Act cold, indifferent, do not feel. You were always good at pretending.

Will was reading a book at the table; he looked up when I came in. "Hey." A simple 'hey.' I needed to let him go. It would hurt, but it would hurt because it mattered, good old John Green.

"We have to talk." I sat down at the table; he looked up from his page.

"Yeah?"

"I, well...I, I can't do this anymore. I can't stand this." I said gesturing between us. The words were leaking out, my tears were threatening to fall, I blinked them away.

"What? What do you mean?" He answered.

"I mean..." I put the papers on the table. My signature was roughly singed on the document.

"You cannot be serious." He slams his book down; he is reading The Great Gatsby. He walks over to the window, and stares out.

"I am serious, just sign them, and let this go!" I know my voice is shaking, I try to calm myself.

"I will talk to you when you're thinking straight!" He yelled.

"I am thinking straight! I am clearer than I have ever been! Will, just sign them; go back to your life. I can't do it. Please." I pleaded.

"After four years, you just give up? Sign your name on these bloody papers and throw it all away because you decided you can't do it?" He didn't raise his voice, his whisper traveled.

"I'm sorry."

"How can you just...how?" His voice sounded strained. My heart broke even more, its shattered pieces somehow found a way to break even more.

"It is for the best." I whispered back.

"You're just giving up on us?" He asked. I knew what I needed to say, knew what I had to do. I had to say the words that will never be true.

"I...I don't love you, I don't." I somehow managed to say these words in a strong voice. I had to let him go. He turned then, his face was expressionless. I looked at the papers.

"You want out already! After everything! Fine!" I started at his voice, so angry. He strode to the papers, signed them quickly and left.

"It's for the best. I am not leaving you. I am letting you go. I am giving you up." The tears fell pitifully. Store the memories away, take a deep breath, and smile. Bury the sadness, and let it go.

Present Day...

He had packed his things while I was out. I had mailed the papers. I didn't want any of his money, but he gave me it anyway. I didn't want the apartment that reminded me of him everywhere I was, but he gave it to me anyway. He left me reminders.

**Should I continue? Review? **


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